You Can't Have Everything
by genielou
Summary: Justin announces his engagement with Juliet, and Harper suddenly disappears. What will he do? [warning: rated T for some mild hotness involved] One-shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Wizards of Waverly Place. No profit is being made from releasing this fictional story.

Author's Note: I got stuck with my other WOWP story so I thought I'd take a break from that by writing this one. Hope y'all like it!

Also, just a bit of a warning. This is my first practice at writing a colorful kissing scene, so if you are easily offended by detailed hotness, I advice you don't read. But, hopefully, most of you can handle hotness, right?

Let's read on!

**You Can't Have Everything**

**By genielou**

"_Sometimes, in life, you just can't have everything."_

Those were the exact words that Dad shared with me when I was in high school while I was battling a high fever and whining about desperately wanting to earn the perfect attendance award. It sounded like complete nonsense then. Who knew that those same words would keep me awake at nights later into my adult life? Additionally, they haunted me during an awfully important time in life?

Thinking back, the dilemma started when I huddled my family in the living room on that one faithful night to announce my engagement to Juliet. There were cheers and hollers shared throughout the entire room. Congratulations from all sides came in the form of pats on my shoulders, hugs, grins, and even tears. Or… at least I thought they were all the appearances of congratulations. I didn't think much of it then, though maybe I should have. When it was her turn to offer her delight, the right words were expressed from her quivering lips; but somehow, and I don't know why I didn't dwell on it until now, the wrong expression was swimming in her eyes.

"Congratulations, Justin," she said, almost as a half-breath of a whisper. "I wish nothing but happiness for the both of you."

She was crying as she said it. Tears of happiness, I assumed. Then, when it seemed like her nose was starting to scrunch and her tears were brimming dangerously to their limit, she suddenly wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face onto my shoulder. Never mind the troubled expression that Alex shot our way as I eyed my sister above the bushel of auburn hair shivering beneath my chin; I just accepted the sentiment gleefully and hugged her back.

She was gone the next day. At first, no one would tell me why and that infuriated me. She wasn't just Alex's best friend. She was mine too. We've known each other since elementary school. We were practically like family. After three months of constantly asking everyone in the household, Max finally took pity on me. It took fifty bucks and a year's worth of gummy bears for him to tell me that she had joined a circus troupe with her parents. Exactly where she was or what her role could possibly be in a circus (because if I know her, and I _do_, I know very well that she held no talent that could extend to circus performance), Max wouldn't tell me. In fact, he refused tell me much, aside from that tiny bit of almost-useless information, even with the probably supply of a year's worth of hotdogs. When I asked him why she left so abruptly, he merely shook his head, regarded me sadly, and said with defeat, "Dude, I really wish I could tell you, but I doubt it would change a damn thing."

I became frustrated after that. I had so many questions of which no one was willing to provide me answers to. And why was it that, with complete disregard to me, the rest of my family was allowed to know where she was, what she was doing, and why she left? In details, too? Why was it that I was not allowed to know anything? More importantly, why weren't any of them trying to get her to come back home? She was family, dammit. And the most important day of my life was slowly creeping up. I wanted her to be a part of it too.

These frustrations mutated into an aggravated tirade during a family dinner, of which was an appointed time when we were supposed to be discussing the finalities to certain wedding decisions. Some time between setting down coffees and passing around biscuits, I suddenly started yelling.

"Am I supposed to just quietly accept that she won't be coming back home? Ever? I'm getting married soon! She should be here!"

Irrational. Stupid. Douche.

Alex enunciated those words perfectly as her eyes shimmered with angry tears. She left the table in a huff with Max not too far behind her. By the end of the night, Juliet was the only one who would talk to me. Even my parents wouldn't meet my shamed gaze.

After a while, I started assuming my own answers. Otherwise, if I didn't, I thought I was going to go insane. Why did she leave so suddenly? She didn't even say good bye. Or, she didn't say good bye to me, at least; I wasn't so sure about everyone else. What was her motivation for leaving her surrogate family? Maybe a need for a change of scenery? A desire to set a new course in life? It made little sense, but it was plausible. She had seemed so lost after graduating from high school, unsure of whether she should pursue a career in fashion or if she should swerve to a steadier employ. That, partnered with her break-up with Zeke, life couldn't have been that much fun for her.

But she was a strong woman. I should know. I watched her evolved from a clingy, awkward girl to a confident, go-getter of a woman who always had a positive outlook in life. Running away from a problem didn't seem like something she would do. She was better than that.

Wasn't she?

How would I know, right? I hadn't exactly kept up with her then. After gaining my Wizard powers, I had concentrated my energy solely on getting a job within the council and restructuring my relationship with Juliet. My time was divided within those boundaries and nothing else. Even Mom had started to complain about how I had forgotten about my own family. I had no idea what any of them had been up to. I didn't even know that Max was subjected to a growth spurt while I was gone, resulting in his towering over me. That night when I announced my engagement was the first time that I had seen them all in over two years.

They had changed. Not just Max. All of them. I felt almost like a stranger when I took that slight moment to look at each of them that night. Mom and Dad looked a lot older than I was comfortable with. Alex's hair was longer and her eyes sharper with wisdom. And then I saw her… She looked really different. I almost didn't recognize her. Her hair had been trimmed to extend barely above her shoulders, her skin sun-kissed to a peach glaze, and her face matured with an air of self-poise. She looked… prettier. More beautiful that I ever remember her being. I supposed this was because she was a late-bloomer. Nonetheless, she stood so tall and proud. She was no longer the strange redhead that followed me around as a child. She had matured to be so much more.

"I miss her, Dad," I said during my tuxedo fitting. "I want her here."

If I had been hoping for him to suddenly tell me where I could find her so that I could drag her back home, I was clearly mistaken. It just was not going to happen. My family knew something that I didn't and they had no intention of telling me about it directly. So instead, and this annoyed me to all extents, they provided me with cryptic glances, comments, and answers. Only this time, the cryptic answer offered was disguised as familiar words of wisdom.

"Sometimes, in life, you just can't have everything."

It wasn't until the night before the wedding ceremony that she braved an appearance. To say that I was surprised to see her would have been an understatement.

I was on closing duty that night, insisting that I needed the distraction to assuage my nerves. The bell attached to the door dinged and, without looking away from my task of stacking chairs, I automatically told the visitor that the restaurant was already closed. I received no answer and the silence grew into an entire minute. When I finally turned, it felt like my heart stopped.

"Hi."

She said it so simply, with the tiniest smile that was so uncharacteristic of her. Usually, she would grin and the corners of her mouth would reach her eyes. She stood awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot, seemingly unsure of what else to say as I stared dumbstruck at her.

"Alex sent me an invitation," she continued, her voice suddenly clear yet held no tone of confidence. "I'm sorry to say that I won't be able to make it. I'm only in town until later tonight. Just wanted to come by and wish you happiness."

She shrugged lightly. There it was: the insecurity that I had come to be familiar with. I blinked my eyes a few times to awaken from my stupor, and to finally really look at her. Two years of being away in a circus had changed her dramatically. She looked like every bit of the traveler that she claimed to be. Her hair, that was usually curled or stylized in some way, now hung loosely and flowed into unhandled waves down onto her shoulders. Her clothes lacked the uniqueness that I was so accustomed to; instead, she settled for a plain white shirt and a pair of jeans. She looked like a bland version of herself yet, despite this, she still held a posture of maturity. Her face was devoid of cosmetics, but her eyes were still deep and expressive. She exuded her troubles and experiences through those eyes that seemed to penetrate me with her gaze.

And then, I realized just how much I've missed her.

"Why did you leave?"

I knew she wouldn't give me a direct answer, and she didn't disappoint. She just shrugged nonchalantly and offered a tiny smile that, when I looked closely, was obviously forced.

"You didn't even say good bye," I accused her.

She shrugged again, but her smile turned into a frown. "I didn't think it would matter."

I scoffed. As rude as my scoff was, I couldn't help it. I didn't know if she had meant for her words to sting, but they did.

"Have a great wedding. Bye," she said with finality as she turned and started walking away.

I don't know what came over me. Before I realized it, I had reached her in three quick strides. My hand grabbed her arm as she almost reached the exit, fully intending to once again walk out of my life.

"You can't go," I said. I almost didn't recognize my voice through the desperation and uncertainty that I was releasing. The shock of her disappearance, the irritation at her absence, the frustration of not being able to see her or talk to her about mundane things… I missed her. She was a stable, constant factor in my life. Always had been. My younger sister's best friend, surrogate daughter to the Russo family, and _my_ friend who had been part of my life longer than any one else outside my familial connections… I needed her.

I tried to convey all of this with my eyes because I was afraid that my voice would crack if I tried to speak them aloud. My eyebrows furrowed in pleading fear. For a fleeting moment, I thought she could see it. I wanted to believe so badly that she could see how much I wanted her to stay. Please, please don't go.

In an instant, she closed the gap between us, reached for me with both hands and firmly pressed her lips against mine. I was surprised at first, but as my shoulders relaxed and I disabled every strand of responsible inhibition within me, my hands began to explore her as much as hers did me. With an arm around her waist and a hand on the back of her neck, I pulled her to me, arching her body flush against mine. She responded without preamble, wrapping her arms around my neck and synching the movements of her lips perfectly with mine. She nibbled and suckled on my lower lip, then my upper lip. I returned the favor with as much enthusiasm. My desire to meld her body with my own intensified as the sounds of her rapid breathing filled my ears. Blind yearning coated my instincts as my tongue caressed the slit of her lips, urging them to open for me. She gasped lightly at my boldness, but obeyed nonetheless; granting me entry. I moaned as a slight taste of vanilla lingered on my tongue as I continued to kiss her, taste her, and nibble her.

After what seemed like a blissful eternity, our actions slowed to a steady pace. Her kisses became softer and lighter. Her eyes remained closed as her hands descended to my chest and she lingered in the security of my arms, as if she was unsure of pulling away.

Her brows furrowed. "I've always wondered…"

I'd like to believe that I knew how that sentence could've ended, but who really knew? A tiny sob escaped her lips as she pulled further away. I tightened my hold on her waist to keep her in my arms, but she wouldn't have it. She took a step back with eyes casted down. She looked shamed and sad.

"Good bye, Justin."

I wanted to go after her. And I would have, if her farewell didn't intone such an inevitable assumption to it. So I just stood there with my lips displaying obvious swelling from her kisses. My chest tightened as she walked out of the door and disappeared from my sight. For the rest of that night, the wedding was the farthest thing in my mind.

The next day, everything seemed to happen around me without my vaguest of attention. I was in a daze. I couldn't think of anything else but her. The way her lips danced with mine, how she tasted, how she felt in my arms… all of these things were plaguing my mind. And then, my mind suddenly re-wounded to every single moment that I have ever had with Harper. How we first met, all of the holidays and birthdays spent together, the mischief and adventures, the tough times, the comforts, the requirements of having her around. It all came rushing into me, and I immediately felt so stupid for not seeing it sooner. Why hadn't I seen it sooner?

When Dad found me in my designated dressing room of the chapel, I was staring dumbly at the mirror. I had a defeated look in my face.

"Son?" he asked. For some reason, I feel like he knew. About Harper. About Juliet. About how I'm about to choose between the two at that very moment.

"Dad," I started, though I couldn't really form the rest of what I wanted to say in words. Instead, I hooked a finger underneath my bow tie and twisted until it came loose. "I have to go. Can you, um, can you—?"

He just nodded. He'll take care of it. I have to trust that he will because I couldn't afford to waste any more time. I have to change out of my tuxedo, then go home and pack my duffel bag.

_Lightly, _I reminded myself. I have to pack lightly because I didn't really have a distinct destination. I could end up anywhere. I had no idea where she was. But I knew I had to find her. I'm going to find her. I'm going to get her back.


End file.
